


Family

by syriala



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:52:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: Derek had always loved how big his family was, had always wanted a family of his own, but now—he knew that this was something he would never have with Peter. Derek had gotten their family killed, he wouldn’t want to start a new one with someone like him either.





	Family

Derek couldn’t say exactly when it had started, but he was sure it was somewhere around Annalise and Benjamin.

Chris and Stiles had adopted Annalise without a second thought when they had found the orphaned wolf cub and by now she had lived with them for almost a year. And just a few months ago Scott and Kira had brought Benjamin home, safely delivered by Satomi’s emissary, and while everyone had been delighted by the tiny kitsune, Derek couldn’t help but feel wistful.

Derek had always loved how big his family was, had always wanted a family of his own, but now—he knew that this was something he would never have. And seeing Peter interact with Anna and Ben didn’t help any.

He knew that Peter wanted kids, but of course he wouldn’t want them with Derek. But seeing Peter play with Anna and gently cradling Ben to his chest, served as a reminder that Peter didn’t want kids with Derek and Derek couldn’t even blame him.

Derek had gotten their family killed, he wouldn’t want to start a new one with someone like him either.

Still, it made something tighten in his chest at the sight, painfully squeezing his heart together, and he sharply turned away. He could hear Peter softly calling after him, mindful of the sensitive hearing of the small fox kit in his arms but he didn’t follow him, and Derek fled without a look back.

Peter had found him later in their flat, comforting baby smell still clinging to him.

“You don’t like it when I interact with the kids,” Peter said, and it wasn’t even a question.

“It’s fine,” Derek gave back, hoping to get this topic dropped because it wasn’t even true.

He loved seeing Peter interact with the kids, loved how careful and attentive and _loving_ he was, but it hurt. It hurt him more than Derek knew what to do with, so he generally opted to stay away from the kids when Peter was there.

Derek loved being around them too, and he was spoiling them rotten whenever he was allowed to, but every time Stiles called him ‘Uncle Derek’ it felt wrong. It wasn’t quite right, wasn’t enough, but Derek knew that this was all he would ever get. He needed to learn to live with that sooner or later.

“Clearly something is not fine,” Peter said and stepped up to Derek, cupping Derek’s cheek in his hand. “Just tell me what’s going on,” Peter mumbled, and Derek couldn’t help but lean into the touch, couldn’t help darting forward to brush a soft kiss over Peter’s lips.

“It’s fine,” he said again, still nuzzling into his hand, and this time Peter sighed.

It was clear he didn’t believe him, but he also didn’t press. Derek might love him even more for it.

“Just tell me whenever you’re ready, okay?” Peter asked, and Derek clenched his jaw at that but he nodded.

He was pretty sure he would never be ready to hear Peter say that he didn’t want kids with _him_ , that this was something Derek was yet again taking from him, and so he turned away before Peter could say anything else.

~*~*~

The onesie was supposed to be for Ben, hence the fox details on it, but Derek had gotten stuck on the tiny wolf one next to it. It was small, way too small for Anna, and Derek couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like on a smaller cub, one that belonged to Derek and Peter.

When Derek started to imagine how their kid might look he dropped the onesie as if it had burned him. It would never happen, so there was no need to torture himself like that.

When he turned around Peter was standing a few feet away, a thoughtful look on his face and Derek’s heart sank. He knew Peter and there was no way he would drop this, not if Derek continued to act like there actually _was_ something bothering him.

But to Derek’s surprise Peter stayed quiet during the drive, clearly thinking something over, but he waited until they were inside before he said something.

“Derek, what is going on?” Peter asked after he had sat Derek down on their coach and Derek knew that this was it.

Peter was too stubborn to let it go, and he had no qualms calling Derek out on his lies, as he knew from experience, so he would have to come clean if he wanted to avoid a fight.

“It’s not important,” Derek tried anyway, because he didn’t want to have this talk, didn’t want Peter to confirm that Derek was depriving him of something he wanted.

“I would say it is, going by the look on your face whenever the kids come up,” Peter gave back, but his voice was soft and careful, like he knew he was treading dangerous water.

“Please just drop it, Peter,” Derek pleaded but something in Peter’s eyes hardened.

“No. I want to know what’s going on. You go all silent and sad when I’m with the kids and don’t think I don’t know that wolf onesie is too small for Anna. Why were you looking at it?”

Derek swallowed once before he squared his shoulders.

“I don’t want to talk about this with you,” he said, but Peter held his gaze unflinchingly.

“Tough luck,” Peter snapped. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you, it’s affecting this relationship, it’s affecting _me_ and so we’ll talk about this.”

Derek startled badly when Peter brought their relationship up, because he couldn’t risk this. Peter was everything he had ever wanted, and he couldn’t risk losing him over his hurt feelings. Hearing Peter confirm that he didn’t trust Derek enough to have a family with him wouldn’t hurt as much as seeing Peter walk out on him, Derek was sure of that.

“I know you want kids,” Derek started, avoiding looking directly at Peter. “And I know you don’t want kids with me,” he finished after a lengthy pause where Peter just waited him out.

“Why would you think that?” Peter asked, but his voice sounded wrong, like he was trying to keep it neutral.

“I killed our family, Peter. Maisie was only two,” Derek rushed out. “They are dead because of me. I’m surprised anyone even lets me near the kids to be honest, so it’s no wonder you don’t trust me with some of our own.”

“Derek, Kate killed our family. You were just as much a victim as we all were. It wasn’t your fault,” Peter said with vehemence and when Derek still refused to look at him, he put a hand to his neck and turned Derek’s head until he couldn’t help but drag his eyes up.

“It was not your fault,” Peter said again, and Derek had to blink back tears at the conviction he heard in his voice.

“Now why would you think I don’t want kids with you?” Peter then asked, and Derek shrugged.

“When we found Anna and Deaton asked if anyone wanted to keep her, you looked over at me before you suggested Chris and Stiles.”

“Derek,” Peter said with a sigh. “I had only just convinced you that I wanted to be with you. I thought suggesting a family right then would be too much too soon,” Peter explained.

“But you always take the kids from me when I hold them,” Derek said with a frown. “You don’t trust me with them.”

“You look uncomfortable when someone gives them to you, like it pains you to hold them,” Peter softly said and carded his fingers through Derek’s hair. “I thought you didn’t want to be around them.”

“I always thought I would never be anything but an uncle because you wouldn’t want this with me,” Derek quietly confesses. “Being an uncle is great, but it’s not enough for me.”

“So, you want kids,” Peter said and Derek nodded.

“I’ve always wanted kids.”

“And you want kids with me,” Peter then said, and Derek nodded again, harder this time but careful not to dislodge Peter’s hand from his neck.

“Of course, I want kids with you. I love you. I want everything with you, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“And I want the same,” Peter whispered before he tightened his grip on Derek’s neck to pull him close and into a hard kiss. “I want _everything_ ,” Peter muttered against his lips and Derek shuddered.

Maybe they could be a family after all.

~*~*~

Derek wouldn’t say the day they met Michael was the happiest day of his life, because the six-month-old was the only survivor of his pack. But the day they got the officially forged papers, the day Peter looked at him with awe in his eyes as he held the tiny cub and whispered, “He’s ours,” that was definitely the happiest day of his life.

Judging by the constantly present soft smile on Peter’s face, he thought the same.


End file.
